Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Flexibility and Adaptability

Well they werent kidding when they said that the most important qualities you can possess as a potential Volunteer are Flexibility and Adaptability, oh and PATIENCE!

They certainly have a way of testing you, or me at least.  For one, the waiting game.  Its bad enough not having an answer, but not even knowing when the decision/answer will be made; its horrible.  The uncertainty is definitely enough to make some one go mad.  I am willing to wait indefinitely because this is something I really [really] want.  But, truthfully, it gets to me at times.

Then there is the all too common occurrence of having the decision changed or rescinded altogether. Yeah I get it, when you are dealing with developing countries, circumstances arise that are unforeseen or unavoidable. I mean I can deal with the uncertainty if I have to; and I have.  But to have a set and concrete plan and then have it taken away.  Its unbearable. That is something I am trying to deal with.  The feeling is almost indescribable.  I can only describe it to the likeness of losing someone/something very very dear to you. Yes, the feeling of loss was that strong (for me). 

Alternatively, its like being punched in the stomach and having the wind knocked out of you.  You fall, and cant focus for a few minutes.  It takes you some time to regain your bearings on everything.  Almost disbelief for a while.  And then you are left feeling sick, disoriented, while you try to right yourself.  I had the ground ripped right out from underneath me. 

And to make matters worse, it has happened again.  Though not as extreme.  I knew there was a reason why I did not get as excited about St. Kitts and Nevis as I did about leaving for Lesotho. I thought to myself: I'll get excited when I'm there, but until then, I'll will just see how things go". Well, today I received an email stating that the PC has made a mistake when they told me I was assigned to St. Kitts and Nevis.  Instead I'll actually be serving in St. Vincent and the Grenadines. 

I have no problem with where I serve. And luckily I wasnt too attached to St. Kitts and Nevis.  But the fact that they "made a mistake" leads me to believe that they can make many more similar mistakes.  Sure there are things that cant be avoided, but logistics and paperwork should be something that is reliable and predictable. However, Nothing is certain. My confidence in the PC administration is quickly waning, unfortunately.  I only hope (and I know that all these feelings of angst, frustration, and second-thought will change when I am doing what I am meant to do) this view will change when I arrive on site to serve and see first hand the efforts PC admin. have put into these programs to make them effective and efficient. 

Until then, I will continue to live one day at a time. Because ultimately, today is the only thing that is certain and guaranteed.  Tomorrow is promised to no one. I will continue to be flexible and adaptable to anything PC throws at me.  Hopefully no more curve balls. But regardless, I'm ready for what ever is thrown at me!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Positives That Have Come From a Postponed Departure...

Despite still being upset about not being in Lesotho (yes, I am still upset, and I predict I will always be a bit disappointed about the whole thing) there are a few positives things that have come from not leaving as soon as originally planned.

As much as I would have loved to be in a climate that was heading into the summer months, it would have been a bit weird to celebrate thanksgiving (my absolute favorite holiday) and christmas in summer and more importantly without my family.  As a result of not leaving in November, I did get to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family.  The food was amazing and the company great, though Justin and Carmen were missed.  

Christmas is in two weeks, and I dont think we know what our plans are yet.  No one had planned on me still being around, so I think every one made their own plans, especially since my brother is now engaged.  We will see what ends up.  But anyway it pans out it will be great to be home (in the cold) for christmas.  In a month I will turn 24.  I have always always always wanted a summer birthday. My postponed departure prevented that this year.  But next year I will turn 25 in St. Kitts and Nevis.  Not too shabby. 

Lastly, the extra three months of rest and relaxation was much needed.  Five years of unrelenting homework, midterms, finals, projects, research, lab work, presentations, volunteering (my stress reliever, but a responsibility nonetheless) and tons of stress and a lack of sleep really caught up with me.  I needed three months to catch up on sleep alone.  Having no responsibilities for three months before I leave to one of the most challenging adventures of my lifetime is a blessing.  Now I will be completely rested and fresh to start my service, and can give my absolute all and 100%. Though, thats not to say that I wouldnt have in Lesotho.  If you know me even a little bit, you know that I do not do anything half heartedly and I would do anything in my power to see that the work I was doing was above and beyond the requirements or expectations. 

Additionally, I have been able to spend very valuable time with my mom, work on my scrapbooks to take with me to St Kitts and Nevis to give me some sense of familiarity, and return to Philly countless times.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Thoughts about Leaving for the Peace Corps

I have roughly two months before I leave for the Eastern Caribbean, but I shouldnt even be here right now.  I should have been in Africa, in a small country called Lesotho (Lih-soo-too) that most people have never even heard of let alone know anything about.  This sudden change of life plans (though not by choice), has left me with much down time to think about my current situation. 

Although I know the importance of this journey, and the main reasons why I decided to pursue the Peace Corps in the first place, that being, helping those who need my help, is not about where.  Its only about helping and having an impact on those who I encounter, even if it is just one child or one elderly man/woman or one teacher, one mother, one student, or one town official.  

Obviously my help, skills, motivation and drive, determination and inspiration are needed in the Eastern Caribbean, or the US government wouldnt spend millions of tax dollars sending volunteers. I just need to keep reminding myself of this. Obviously this will be a life changing experience.  And I am sure I will love it.  But until I leave, its very difficult to think about all the things I have given up to pursue this dream.

The longer I am here, the worse it is.  I regularly have conversations with my best friend about her wedding, and it absolutely breaks my heart that I will be missing it. Another of my best friends will be getting married, and I will have to miss hers as well.  She barely talks to me about her wedding plans.  It hurts but I understand. Theres also the possibility that I will have to miss my brother's wedding.  Another disappointment. When I return from my 2.5 years of service, my best friend will have ANOTHER baby and a 3.5 year old.  I will have missed the birth of her second child and two thirds of her first child's life. This is going to be difficult since I have been there every step of the way thus far.  Then, I will miss the birth of another very dear friend's baby. 

Then theres the current relationship situation.  Another good thing to end prematurely. There is really no easy way to go about entering the Peace Corps, unless you have no friends, no family and no life whatsoever. but I imagine thats not the case for most people.

But is there really any good time to leave the country, your friends, and your family for 2.5 years to pursue your own dreams?  I suppose no matter when I leave I will miss some monumental time in a friend's or family member's life. But that doesnt make it suck any less. It just sucks that I have to miss it now, and so soon after the start of my service. And if I dont go just because Im waiting around for THEIR dreams, then I will miss out on my own. This will only cause resentment and a feeling of unfulfillment.

Then theres all the things that are going to change that arent immediately apparent right now.  When I get back, I am going to be a completely different person; I will have a new mindset, a new way of approaching things, possibly a new culture, a new family, new friends.  Everything will be different.  Everything will be different back "home" too.  My former friends will have grown and moved on with their lives as well.  New relationships, new marriages, new families, new jobs.

Sure its going to be difficult, but thats why they call Peace Corps Service the "Toughest Job You'll Ever Love".  

Im looking forward to starting this journey and this life changing time in my life.  I just wish it was happening sooner rather than later.

So far, the time between finding out about the cancellation of my program in Lesotho and waiting for another invitation and subsequently the time that my next program leaves has been the most difficult during the entire Peace Corps Process. 

Everything happens for a reason. 

66 Days Until I Leave for St Kitts and Nevis

So with 66 days until I depart for St Kitts and Nevis (well actually St Lucia for a 5 day pre training and possibly Miami or another major US city for Staging) I have begun to prepare.  But first, to clarify the steps of the Peace Corps Experience.  Staging occurs in a major US city, whereby all the volunteers leaving for a particular program meet each other for the first time and take care of the necessary finalities, such as getting the last of the shots (boo!), handing in the last of the paper work, receiving our special government issued passport, etc.  Peace Corps does not send out any information regarding Staging until a month before departure.

When I was leaving for Lesotho, I was Staging in Philadelphia, which was pretty ironic since I had just moved from Philly about a month prior to Staging on November 1st. It would have been weird/nice to be back in Philly for Staging and as the last place I saw before moving abroad for 2.5 years.

Anyways, for St. Kitts and Nevis there is a 5 day pre training in St. Lucia.  I am not entirely sure if this is considered Staging as well, or if there is a Staging in addition to the 5 day pre training.  After the pre training in St. Lucia I will go off to my site in St. Kitts and Nevis.  I am assuming that the Eastern Caribbean programs have their own special Staging in addition to the regular Staging in the States since the EC consists of 6 different countries (Antigua and Barbuda, Dominica, Grenada and Carriacou, St. Lucia, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, and St. Kitts and Nevis) under one title (EC). As you can see, everything about the Peace Corps is a mystery.  They like to keep me on my toes at ALL times.  Information always seems so last minute..but be that as it may.
So in preparation for departure I have begun to organize everything (including my life to some degree). Since I currently (but not for long (gave my resignation on my second day of work haha) more on this later) work at Target, I decided to take advantage of the discount I get and bought all my necessary items such as health care items and other random things like tape and glue, etc. 

I decided that since I am only in the US for another two months and most of that is holidays, that I need all the time I can get to finish and wrap things up.  It occurred to me that in order to see any of my friends, who all have real grown up 9-5 monday-friday jobs, I would need to see them on the weekends.  And working in retail, the only days Target wants me is the weekends.  It just wasnt fitting my life mantra of "I do what I want, when I want". Since I had to work the weekends, coupled with the fact that scheduling sucks and they never gave me two days off in a row, I couldnt go to Philly and visit friends.  Not to mention the horrible night shifts and early sunday mornings.  Ew. So it made the most sense to quit, so I had as much time and flexibility to do everything I needed and wanted to do before I leave. If I wasnt leaving until the end of March (Ukraine, Belize programs) then it would not have been an issue, because I still would have had 2 months after the holiday season to do everything. Additionally, with the holidays coming up, its difficult enough to plan to meet up and do anything with everyones conflicting busy schedules.  I did not need to compound it by having unreliable and unstable work hours.

Back to preparations.  Luckily I got most of what I need for starting a new life in a foreign country from my friends and family at my Farewell Party (THANK YOU SO MUCH!).  I only had a few loose ends to tie up in that regard.  Now, I need to some how figure out how I am going to fit everything in just two large duffel bags that weigh less than a 100lbs total.  Yikes!

In addition to packing I still have a ton of paperwork.  It really never ends. I still need to sort out all my Student Loans. Stupid Private Loans! This just takes alot of time (another reason for quitting Target so soon).  I need to get them all in line, figure out whats what, and calling these places takes for EVER. I need to figure our a plan of communication; getting an unlocked GSM phone, buying one down there, canceling my current plan, etc.

Theres so many things to do, I cant even think of them all now.  Its a bit overwhelming.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Interesting Info

I like to compare different regions of the world and the living standards to gauge how different they in fact are.
Below are some interesting facts about some different regions in the world.  Keep in mind what you generally make here in the US.

Volunteer Allowances*
  • Eastern Caribbean-St. Kitts and Nevis=$770.84/month with only 22% of that income being taxable. $601.26 (the highest allowance of ALL countries!-not sure what this means for me exactly?).
  • Lesotho=$204.91/month, with 48% of that income being taxable.  So I really only would have had $106.55! (one of the highest tax rates).
Safety and Security**
  • Eastern Caribbean=1 incident of sexual assault, 2 aggravated assault, 1 threat, 8 burglary, 3 theft, 
  • Lesotho=No incidents of sexual assault or rape, 2 physical assault reports, no reports for threat, 1 robbery, 4 burglary.
All data for 2008 (most current)

Health and Safety***
  • Eastern Caribbean=5 alcohol related problems, 1 asthma, 2 dengue, 34 dental problems, 2 environmental health concerns, 15 GI, 7 mental health (adjustment issues), no malaria, 5 MEDEVACS (medical evacuations), 16 STDs, 20 gyno, 0 HIV, 3 tuberculosis, 
  • Lesotho=1 alcohol related problems, 3 asthma, 1 cardiovascular, 12 dental problems, 6 infectious dermatitis, 22 GI, 12 mental health (adjustment issues), 22 other mental health issues, no malaria, 3 MEDEVACS (medical evacuations), 2 STDs, 9 gyno, 0 HIV, 2 tuberculosis.
All data for 2007 (most current)

In summary, I want to show people that there are many misconceptions. I want to help eradicate these misconceptions through this blog and by my sharing my experiences and the new things I learn. Many people probably think that Africa is very dangerous, but in fact there is more crime in the EC.

Statistics about the Peace Corps

Out of 100 Applicants:
77 receive an Interview
65 receive a Nomination
42 receive an Invitation
33 Become Trainees
30 Swear iIn after the 3 month In-Country Training
25 Reach the 1-Year Mark
22 Close of Service (complete the full 2 years of service)

Out of 100 Trainees:
90 Swear In
75 Reach the 1-Year Mark
68 Close of Service

Average Length of Application (days)       Total/Running Total   My Total/Running 
Application to Nomination:                                      62/62                       50/50
Nomination to Medical Info being Submitted to OMS: 87/149                    76/126
Medical Info Received to Medical Qualification/Clearance: 54/203             77/203
Medical Qualification to Invitation:                          38/241                     133/336
Invitation to Acceptance:                                        9/250                        5/341
Acceptance to Enter on Duty:                                 85/335                       63/404
Lesotho Program Canceled: Wait for new Invitation: ~5                         28/432
Invitation to NEW Acceptance:                                   9                          9/441
Acceptance to Enter on Duty:                                    85                         73/514

Early Termination Report (January - December 2004)
Evaluation of the Volunteer Delivery System April 2003  [Printed copy]
FY 2006 Quantitative Early Termination Report
Program Evaluation Report: Peace Corps’ Medical Clearance System (March 2008)

Make-up of Volunteers
  • Eastern Caribbean: 6 Business Advising, 2 Information Technology, 13 NGO Development, 32 Community Development, 17 Youth Development (5.4% of total volunteers are YD), 2 Special Education Teacher Training. Total Volunteers=72, 1% of total volunteers.
  • Lesotho: 4 Applied Agriculture Science, 2 Business Advising, 2 NGO Development, 4 Health Degreed, 13 Health Extension, 13 Community Development, 17 Primary Education Teacher Training, 13 Secondary Education English Teaching, 2 Secondary Education Math Teaching (1.8% of total volunteers are Math teachers),11 Secondary Education Science Teaching. total Volunteers=81, 1.1% of total Volunteers.

FOIA Request # 10-129
"current breakdown by assignment area within each country of volunteers currently serving"
Final Response: July 21, 2010
Original File

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Motivation and Inspiration

It just occurred to me that I have not once mentioned why I decided to pursue the Peace Corps.

Well...Im not entirely sure what clicked and made me decide to pursue Peace Corps exactly.   I think doing the various Alternative Spring Breaks (ASB) throughout Drexel precipitated the decision. ASB are an alternative to that traditional college spring break of going to some exotic beach.  The trips are organized by different student organizations and offer to volunteer time and labor during spring break to help with NGOs and non-profit organizations such as Habitat for Humanity, etc.  While on one ASB trip to Galveston Texas to help with Hurricane Ike relief efforts, we worked extensively with AmeriCorps Volunteers.  It was here that I learned alot of the different volunteer organizations.  

AmerICorps was also an option that I pursued.  There are plenty of Americans that can use assistance.  So why not just do AmeriCorps, you may ask?  Well AmeriCorps is only a 10 month commitment and although there is alot of diversity in our country, it was not enough for me.  And while I have absolutely no problem helping our country, I feel as though I will be able to do that for the rest of my life through numerous volunteer opportunities.  However, Peace Corps, a 27 month commitment, would be a once in a life time experience.  The older I get, the less likely it would be for me to pursue the Peace Corps, with the financial obligations and the like that go with having a real job and life.  Now was the time. 

It just made sense.  Yes I have a masters in Materials Science and Engineering and I "could have a great job" but to me, it didnt seem to matter.  The difference I would make by volunteering my time to help the less fortunate in a foreign and developing country would significantly outweigh what I could offer here to our country and people by getting a typical job.  Education is extremely important, not just for me and you, but for everyone.  
  • If I can teach one child that math is important and they can do more than what is at their fingertips then I have achieved my goals. 
  • If I can show a child or a community their true potential and/or be a resource to them in achieving their true potential then I have accomplished my goals.
  • If I can come back to the States after my service and explain to you X,Y and Z that I learned that you did not know, or that you thought was completely out of the question, then I have fulfilled a dream.
  • If I can go to a foreign and developing country and show them that we are not all rich and famous, and we have problems to, etc etc. then I have succeeded in my purpose.
Peace Corps would be a challenge; something that I love. I love pushing myself. If I am not stressed and over whelmed, then I am not happy. For me, Peace Corps was the total package.  
  • I want to experience new cultures.
  • I want to try to eradicate prejudice, misconceptions, etc. both about Americans and about the culture in which I will be living for 2 years. 
  • Obviously, help others that are less fortunate.  But I dont want to just go there and say this is how it is done.  Rather, I want to work with the people in the community in which I will be living.  Work along side them, and guide them in community owned projects.  I want to be able to leave and know that I have helped them help themselves. Essentially, it must be a sustainable exchange.
  • I want to inspire and encourage the people I work along side.  I want to help them realize their potential.  Only this way can change be ever lasting and sustainable.
  • I want to use skills I gained while obtaining my engineering degree.
  • In addition to helping and inspiring, I would gain new skills, new-found characteristics about myself that could only be realized when challenged and put in totally unfamiliar situations.  I will learn a new culture, new language, new food, new way of living.  Everything about "new life" is inspiring for me.

I think that about sums it up.

It has been brought to my attention, that "we just cant understand why you are so devastated by not going to Lesotho."

Well, I think that I would feel this way about any country, especially if I had mentally prepared myself for going there, and then with no warning, was told TWO WEEKS before departure that I was no longer going, as was the case about Lesotho.  But why Africa? Why Lesotho?

To me, Lesotho and the program I was invited to (Education, but more specifically, Secondary Math Education) was a perfect fit for me.  I had been tutoring math for a year in a low-income under-priveleged elementary school in West Philly. I know MATH. I like math. I love teaching.  It was a perfect match for my skills and strengths.

  • Lesotho was also a great match.  It is an entirely different country and culture.  A culture that is not well understood by Americans, in a region of the world that is often forgotten about.  I wanted to go there and come back with so many amazing stories that would make you think differently about Africa.
  • Lesotho is in another hemisphere.  It would be cool to have Christmas during Summer. And my birthday (January) in summer; I have always wanted a summer birthday.
  • Lesotho is in a different time zone.
  • Lesotho is basically on the complete opposite side of the planet.
  • Lesotho is the Kingdom in the Sky. It is very mountainous terrain. I was looking forward to having to HIKE everywhere I went, or possibly riding a donkey to get around.
  • I was looking forward to the challenges that living in a severely under developed country would bring:
    • No electricity: No computer.
    • No running water: Taking a (cold) bath out of a bucket.
    • No flushing toilets: Using a hole in the ground.
It didnt matter to me that I was going to a country that had the third highest rate (~30% of the population) of HIV/AIDS. That was just another challenge. There is just a certain stigma about Africa, both good and bad.  I wanted to enhance that "good" image, and hopefully reduce the "not so good" image.

In the end, it doesnt matter where I go, just that I am helping someone.  I will learn from the people, no matter who they are or where they are.  Because ultimately, their life experiences are wholly different from mine. 

Who knows, I still may end up in Africa at some point in my life.

Hope this clarifies my motivation and inspiration a little bit.  Understanding is all I ask for.

Preliminary Info about St. Kitts and Nevis

Some basic info about St. Kitts and Nevis.
  1. Just because its an island in the caribbean, does not mean I'll be on vacation for 2 years.
  2. Geography:
    1. St. Kitts and Nevis looks like an exclamation point, or a baseball (Nevis) and bat (St. Kitts).
    2. Its about 1/3 of the way from Puerto Rico to Trinidad and Tobago.
    3. St Kitts: 64 sq miles Nevis: 36 sq miles. Roughly 1.5 times the size of Washington, DC.
    4. Tropical Climate, rainy season from May to November.
    5. Volcanic with mountainous interiors. Highest elevation: Mount Liamuiga: 1156 m.
    6. Natural resources include: arable land.
    7. Prone to Natural Disasters (Hurricanes).
  3. People:
    1. Total population: 50,000.
      1. mostly age 15-65.
      2. median age: 31.5 (practically the life expectancy of Lesotho in 2005, but has since increased to 50.67 in 2010)
      3. life expectancy: 74 years
      4. Ethnicity: predominately black, but some British, Portuguese, and Lebanese.
    2. Religions: Anglican, Protestant, RC.
    3. Language: English
    4. Literacy Rate: 97% (Lesotho had 95% and was the highest for all of Africa)
  4. Transportation:
    1. 2 Airports.  Luckily both are paved (26 in Lesotho but only 3 are paved and they dont have the longest runways).
    2. Roads: 237 miles. 101 miles paved, 136 miles unpaved.
  5. Economy:
    1. Dependent on tourism, which replaced sugar (officially closed in 2005).
    2. GDP: Agriculture: 3.5%; Industry: 25.8%; Services: 70.7%
    3. GDP per capita: $14,700.
    4. Unemployment rate: 4.5%.
    5. Public debt: 185% of GDP. this is the third highest in the world.
    6. Agriculture products: sugarcane, rice, yams, vegetables, bananas, fish.
    7. Industries: tourism, cotton, salt, copra, clothing, footwear, beverages.
    8. Oil Consumption: 1000 bbl/day. (19 million bbl/day for the US).
    9. Exports: Machinery, food, electronics, beverages, tobacco.  Primarily to US, Canada, and Azerbaijan.
    10. Imports: machinery, manufactures, food, fuels. Primarily from US, Trinidad and Tobago, Italy.
  6. Government:
    1. Achieved Independence from UK in  Sept. 19,1983.  Nevis wants to be separate from St. Kitts.
    2. Parliamentary Democracy and a Commonwealth realm.
    3. Capital: Basseterre
    4. Time zone: 1 hour ahead of Washington DC during Standard Time.
  7. Transnational Issues:
    1. Illicit Drugs: transshipment point for South American drugs destined for US and Europe.  Money Laundering activities.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Finally a Concrete Answer

Just as I had given up, and my frustration with the government reached an all new high, the UPS finally came with a rather large packet from the Peace Corps. Its like they do this to you on purpose to see what you are made of; to see if you can handle the pressure, the uncertainty, the anticipation; to determine if you are flexible, strong willed and fit, etc for service.  This is a test not advertised on the medical packet.

In it, my new assignment: St. Kitts and Nevis.  Leaving January 27th 2011. 

Right now, Im not really sure how I feel about this.  Although the average temperate is between 79 and 89 F all year long.  I could get used to that.

Instead of being excited and relieved, now Im just annoyed I have to go through all the same paperwork again, but for a different country.

It might seem as though I am ungrateful, unhappy, etc, but believe me I am not. I am perfectly happy going anywhere on this planet and helping where ever I can be of assistance.  As Lauren has said to me, its not where I go that matters, just that I am going to help.  I definitely agree.

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. There was a definite reason why I was not meant to go to Lesotho. Im ready to figure out what that reason is now.


Monday, November 8, 2010

Of Course This Would Happen to Me

Well, the mail has come. Empty. Nothing from Peace Corps. I should have known not to get my hopes up.

Is this some kind of cruel test?  If I dont have patience, an absurd amount of patience mind you, I am not going to be able to become a Peace Corps Volunteer?

And to top it off, while I should be in Lesotho (its summer time there), there is 3 inches of snowy, sloshy, sleety mess outside right now.  It sucks!

Tomorrow is a new day, I suppose.

Today SHOULD be the Day I Find Out...

So nearly a month after I found out I wasnt going to Lesotho, here I still wait to find out where I'll be going instead.  At this point, well really from the beginning, it was just too much to think about.  I have all but given up hope about when I would be finding out about my new assignment.  I cannot deal with the uncertainty that this process brings, not now at least.  I have already been dealing with it for the last year.  I thought all the uncertainty and the waiting was over and I'd be on a plane in just a few short days to Lesotho.  Then that dream was ripped out right from under me, and now I am starting all over again.

The best way to cope with this situation is just to not deal with it at all; push it out of my mind completely.  Well this time it seems like I might finally have an answer.  Im trying my best now to not think about when the mail man will come with my new fate.  But it should be coming today...

I didnt tell any one, especially my family, that I did in fact talk to the PC rep last week and told them to make the decision for me.  I didnt tell any one, but I did post it on here.  I guess it was partly a test to see who would actually read this thing. And it was easier to just write it then tell everyone individually.  My family on the other hand, will be quite surprised today when I tell them where I will be going and when, as will I.  But I do have my ideas, even though PC tells you NEVER EVER to do that, because it will only cause heartache when it ends up being different.  I figure at this point, I have no emotions and no thoughts on any other assignments.  I have already been heartbroken.  Nothing will or can phase me now.  Wherever I end up is fine, but honestly I want no part of that decision process.  I could not bear to think that I was the one who needed to choose.  How do you even choose such a thing? How could I choose when my heart and soul where in Lesotho already?

Today SHOULD be the Day I Find Out...lets hope it is...

Friday, November 5, 2010

Many Thanks...

Its not hard to see how much time and effort has gone into this process.  I have had to make many sacrifices to make this dream a reality; and I am willing to bet that this will not be the end.

I would like to take the time now to say thank you to the many people that have helped, encouraged, supported, or aided in the process along the way. Please note the order is completely random, I just write as it comes to me.

  • Firstly and foremost, I need to thank my mom.  She has been my biggest supporter throughout this whole ordeal.  She has given me many words of encouragement, inspiration, motivation, drive, etc and has helped me get through the myriad of doctors appointments. I should also thank my family for being supportive in their own way.  I know most of you dont really understand my motivation and why I am pursuing this path, but I hope in time you will see the benefits an unconventional path has to offer.
  • I'd like to give a special thanks to Lindsay Deckard who has been nothing short of amazing.  She is my inspiration and was the catalyst to my decision to pursue PC!  She is the most amazing person I have met in a long time and always, always knows the right thing to say at the right time.  I dont think I could have gone through this process without her extremely helpful insights and wisdom. Thank you!
  • I should thank the many wonderful AmeriCorps volunteers I have met and worked with over the course of my service in Philly as well as through Alternative Spring Breaks.  Ultimately they are the people who have given me inspiration to give back to my community (where ever that may be).
  • I cannot forget all of the helpful and supportive people at Drexel who helped write letters of recommendation as well as gave great advice-Yury Gogotsi, Holly Burnside, Danielle Tadros, Dorilona Rose, Dr. Zavaliangos. And those not at Drexel who wrote letters and gave great advice or have been great mentors-Amy (Audino) Jones and Rafael Rengifo.
  • I want to thank the Center for Civic Engagement at Drexel-Seth Jacobson and Daniel Dougherty in particular for having faith in me and choosing me to spearhead the Drexel Community Scholars partnership with Our Mother of Sorrows/St. Ignatius Schools.  It was truly an eye-opening, life changing experience.  I loved every minute of it.
  • Our Mother of Sorrows/St. Ignatius-everyone was so great to work with! I hope my students learned as much as they taught me!  I'm really going to miss OMS/SI, I felt so welcomed and truly a part of the community.  Rosemary Haenn, Sr. Owen, and Simon Kaufman-you guys are the greatest! Thanks for all the support! Donna Rodzewich, I'm looking forward to working closely with you throughout my service to teach the 6th graders about my new culture and community!  Cant wait for all the questions!
  • Obviously I need to thank my friends (my support group and sounding board).  Without you I am not sure if I would have made it through all the (frequent) very rough patches.  Lauren, in particular, thank you for being so supportive and understanding, even though this is not what you want.  It breaks my heart that I will have to miss 2.5 years of life with you, including some of the most monumental times in your life.  Just know that I will be there in spirit. But it makes me eternally grateful that you understand that this is something I need to do. Emily, Stacey, Ali, Lesli, Lauren M. and Rose-I know that no matter how long we go without speaking or seeing each other things will always be the same when I return.  Thank you for all your support and encouragement. There are countless people who I could thank for their kind words and well wishes-thank you so much it means alot to know you believe in me! 
  • Thank you to all my Friends and Family who have been nothing but supportive! I really couldnt have done it without you and your help and encouragement.
  • Thank you to all my friends at Drexel and in Philly. You know who you are :-) 
  • Chris: It is funny how life has a way of working out.  I knew that this would happen.  But you have been great throughout this whole ordeal. Thank you so much for being so understanding and supportive!  You have been nothing short of amazing throughout this very difficult and like changing time in my life.  Thank you.
  • I'm sure I missed someone.  Its not that I dont care or appreciate it, theres just so many people that have been so positive about this decision!  I'll add them as they come to me. 

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Rollercoaster Ride that is My Life

Oh boy, where to start. Well here's a little glimpse into what I have been through in the past year or so.  A quick summary, if you will. When I get a chance I will update this to be alot more thorough.

August 2009-Submitted my very lengthy application.  It consisted of several essays on cultural experience, motivation, goals, etc; three letters of recommendation; and a complete background check, including legal, financial, and all that good stuff.

September 2009-nothing exciting happened. just waiting to hear if I would be accepted to interview with a RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer) in the Regional Headquarters in New York.

October 2009-Still waiting. This is something I will get VERY used to.

November 2009-Granted an interview in New York.  This means that from my application I am deemed qualified, based on my skill set, to serve as a PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer).

On November 9th, I travelled to NYC via Amtrak to interview with a RPCV in the region headquarters at 2pm.  I studied a list of possible questions that the interviewer would ask on a peace corps wiki site, and thank god I did, because they were the exact questions I was asked word for word.  Overall I thought the interview went well, but there were some areas I could have expanded on.  My interviewer said I could expect to hear an answer in about two weeks if I would be nominated or not.  
When I woke up the next morning, I found that I had an email from her.  In it, it stated that I was nominated to teach math in Africa leaving in September of 2010.  The way this step works is if you are qualified skill wise and, I guess personality-wise, you get nominated.  What that means is I am qualified and able to teach math based on my engineering degree.  I was scheduled to leave in September of 2010, because, I was still under the assumption I would be able to finish my degree on time (June 2010) and therefore would have three months for myself to travel and visit everyone before I left for 27 months. I was also nominated for a general region (Africa).  This was based on my preference, or lack there of.  I said I was willing to go anywhere, and it just so happened that Africa is where my skills were needed first based on my availability.  Unfortunately, I was told that no matter that I was a perfect match for doing Environmental and Sustainable Engineering projects in South and Central America, I would not be nominated for these programs because I did not speak Spanish.  Oh well, I am happy with going to Africa.  
I was also told that I would receive the Medical Packet in the mail within a few weeks.  Once I received it, I would have about three months to complete it and send it back.  This is where things start to go downhill.

December 2009-By now, I had just started feeling better after having E.Coli from drinking some contaminated water in Jamaica, while on an assessment trip for Engineers Without Borders.  This slight incident put a wrench in my plan for the upcoming year.  Because of the E.Coli, I had missed about six weeks of school, in the fall term of my senior year.  I needed to finish my research and begin writing my thesis, as well as take about six graduate courses.  To make matters worse, I then got Swine Flu on top of it.  I was constantly playing catch up with school work and consequently could not start writing my thesis.  This would set me back about three months.  
Now, in addition to playing catch up with school work, I had to prove to Peace Corps that I was healthy enough to go abroad for 27 months.  I guess for normal people this wouldnt have been such a big deal. Everyone gets a cold, the flu, E.Coli, right?  Yeah well ok, that might not be thatttttt big a deal, since if I do go abroad I can definitely count on having E.Coli or another GI water-borne disease during my service.  But to make things fun, I am severely, to the point where I can die, allergic to Peanuts and Walnuts. oh and I have a history of asthma and a bee sting allergy. Right of the bat, Peace Corps has a disclaimer, if you have any number of certain diseases you will most likely not be accepted.  Severe allergies were on this list.  But I had a very encouraging friend who was also a PCV in Jamaica that pushed me to apply anyways, and that, I am a very qualified individual and that my motivation and drive would shine through: Peace Corps would make it work for someone like me.  She turned out to be right, and I could not have gone through this process without her.  Thank you so much Lindsay.  
Anyways, back to my history of illness.  so yeah, I needed to convince Peace Corps I was medically fit to go abroad where the likelihood of having medical facilities accessible was virtually non-existant.  During December, I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed, as requested by Peace Corps and recommended by my dentist.  That was fun.  Also during this time, I was in and out of my primary care doctor due to the after effects of the E.coli and the swine flu.  I had been multiple times for blood work, because my lymph nodes would not go back to the normal size.  It was apparent something was wrong, but no doctor could determine what it was, and no amount of blood work would turn up anything out of the ordinary.

January 2010-I continue with all my Peace Corps Medical paperwork.  This includes a physical, blood work for things I had never heard of (example: GP3 something, which determines if your able to take malaria pills), urinalysis, and numerous shots.  I had to get ANOTHER MMR and Polio booster shot. Ouch! In addition, I had to go to the Eye Doctor, back to the Dentist for more X-Rays to prove that my wisdom teeth were in fact removed, and to my PHCP (Primary health care physician) numerous times for signatures.  Also during this time, luckily my Pediatrician is a family friend, because I needed records of all my immunizations.  I also thought I would have to go back to the Allergist to prove the severity of my allergies.  Luckily, the Peace Corps OMS (Office of Medical Services) told me that I should only have to provide my history.  So here I go again, calling and asking for all my files sent to me.  I cant even tell you how many times I went into Yury's Office to use the Fax machine to send/receive my medical files and give authorization to have them released.  It took forever!

February 2010-I think by now I have finally sent in all my last paperwork.  Phew! Thats done, for now at least.  Its all out of my hands now.  Now I just wait for an answer.

March 2010-Waiting, waiting, waiting.  Perhaps during this time, I was contacted for supplemental forms, but honestly I cant remember, its a bit of a blur.

April 2010-This time sticks out in my mind in particular.  Its been months since I have sent in my medical forms and I just want an answer.  I cant take the waiting.  If you are going to reject me, just do it already.  It was the end of Spring Break (I had gone on Alternative Spring Break to South Carolina), all the girls on the trip had gotten wish bracelets?  I naturally had wished for an answer regarding my medical clearance, with no hope that this stupid bracelet would actually work.  It was the next week after I had returned home to school.  It had broke on a tuesday night.  
Wednesday I had a letter in the mail from OMS.  It stated that I had been conditionally medically cleared.  What this meant was I was cleared but could only go to certain places based on my medical needs.  It stated that Peace Corps would do its best to accommodate my needs, but at times it was simple impossible, albeit rare.  Wow. What a relief! I was actually cleared medically to go and serve!!!!

May 2010-So for normal applicants who dont have any medical issues, they would be medically cleared and placed to a country and program relatively soon.  In my case, Peace Corps needed to do an extra step before I could be invited. This obviously meant more waiting...Oh and now Im back in the doctors because I havent had my period in over 7 months.  This cant be healthy.  More bloodwork, nothing.  Everything comes back perfectly normal.  Maybe its because I have lost more than 20 lbs in about five weeks when I had E.coli and still have yet to gain it back. Maybe its because my immune system is stilled messed up, maybe its stress.  The doctors give me a 100 different reasons.

June 2010-Waiting..Waiting..Starting to get a little nervous since I was supposed to have graduated by now, but yeah because of that stupid E.coli I was way behind schedule. So now the pressure was on to finish, wait I should say START my thesis and then finish it all by September, which was when I was scheduled to leave. 

End of June, I traveled to Kansas City, MO for my roommates graduation party.  First night Im there, I end up in the ER due to an acute allergic reaction.  I think to myself, GREAT! I just spent 4 months trying to convince Peace Corps that I am healthy and that my allergy is controlled, possibly even less severe because I havent had a reaction in more than 10 years.  And now im in the ER, my body covered in hives and a throat that is slowly swelling shut. GREAT GREAT GREAT.  And now I have to send all the ER paperwork and reports to OMS.  Im surely going to be rejected now.  My dream is over.

July 2010-Writing writing writing my thesis.  It sucks. I have no life.  and Im so afraid PC is going to reject me now.  I procrastinate at sending the ER Report, and partly because I am caught up in my thesis I forget. Eventually, I get around to it.  End of July I get an email from a PC Rep.  It states that she needs copies of my Official Transcripts showing the date my degree was completed in full.  Im freaking out.  I still havent technically graduated. I am only about half way done with my thesis.  OMG after all this medical stuff and now Im not going to be able to serve because I didnt graduate on time.  She also needs an update resume to include any new volunteer experience and a Skill Set form outlining all my skills and any professional development courses I have taken, etc. At the bottom it says not to send anything unless its all at once.  Great now I have to wait until I graduate. Everything is over. Im not going to graduate until september which is when I was supposed to leave.  She calls a week later, but I miss the call.  On the voicemail she says that if she doesnt hear from me by the end of the week, she will consider it that I am no longer interested in serving as a PCV and my application will be withdrawn.  Im panicking. I call her back immediately and explain the situation. She explains to me that she really only needs my resume and skill set form.  The transcripts are more of a formality and those can be sent later.  Crises averted. Phew!  Again that is, but not for long Im sure.

August 2010-I have sent the ER Report and now Im just waiting to be rejected, even after making it this far.  Im so close to an invitation and now this stupid allergy is going to ruin it for me.  August 9th: I receive an email from my PO (Placement Officer). She explains that she as completed the preliminary review of my placement but would like to know how I feel about service, since its been so long that I first applied.  She asks a series of questions and I am required to answer them and send them back to her.  She also includes a note about my medical clearance:

Medical accommodations are quite common and are given to some applicants who, as determined by the Office of Medical Services (OMS), are allowed to serve in only specific countries and/or sites where Peace Corps can medically accommodate Volunteers. Now she need to grant me placement clearance and from there it will go to OMS to be cleared medically. 

As soon as I grant you placement clearance then I will need to submit a request to OMS to ensure that Peace Corps can medically accommodate you in the country where I would like to place you. It is not until I receive approval on the medical accommodation that I can issue your invitation to serve. In the event OMS is able to approve my request then I will be able to move forward with an invitation immediately thereafter. In the event OMS is unable to approve this request then I will identify another program match for you and request approval, and so on and so forth. Great, she needs to approve me for a program and then OMS needs to approve the same one based on my medical needs and accommodations.  How likely is it that they will both agree on one.  And now shes telling me it can take up to three weeks.  The pressure is too much! But I just need to focus on my thesis so I can graduate.  This process can go on forever, what if there isnt a program that im skilled for in a location that can accommodate my medical needs? Im freaking out.

In the event OMS cannot approve my requests for Education placements in the Africa region then, in order to 'cast a wide net' and increase your chances of receiving a placement, I will need to explore other regions and perhaps other sectors (i.e. Science Education, Agriculture, etc). I understand you did express flexibility and willingness to serve where possible based on Peace Corps' greatest need, an admirable trait Peace Corps looks for in all applicants. I assume you are still flexible and willing to accept an invitation, regardless of the location.

Luckily based on my answers to her questions, she qualifies me for placement.  Now I just need to wait. what a surprise that is! Ha! In turn I have my own questions.  Its now August, and I was supposed to leave in September, thats not feasible is it? No she tells me, but shes waiting medical approval for programs in Africa that leave in October and November 2010. Looks like Im still going to Africa!

August 16th, I am at Rosemary's (the Vice Principal of Our Mother of Sorrows, who has been a very important person throughout my application as well!) house dogsitting, I am explaining to her the latest updates in my process, when the phone rings.  Its a 202 number.  By now, I recognize 202 to be Peace Corps headquarters in Washington, DC.  I answer the phone.  Its a Rep from OMS. She wants to discuss my ER Report.  She asks me some questions; why didnt I use my epipen? Do I know how to use it? Would I use it if I had to? Would I know when I needed to? Overall it was not a very promising call.  She sounded very unsure that I could take care of myself in the event of an emergency.  I was freaking out (again).  This was the end.  I was SOOO close to an invitation.  I had been in contact with the PO things were moving along and now this call.  the Rep at OMS said she need to talk to the doctor and reach a conclusion.  Im heartbroken.  But now all I can do is wait. wait. wait.

August 25th I wake up to find an email.  The subject line is: Peace Corps Invitation.  I nearly die. Finally, I made it! Im going to become a Peace Corps Volunteer.

Dear Valarie-

I have received medical approval to send you an invitation to an Africa Secondary Math Teaching Program departing in early November.  It will go out in the mail tomorrow, via UPS.  You will learn which country you were invited to upon receipt of the package!


For me this is the most magical news I have ever read.  But I feel bad that this news comes on Chris's birthday. :-(  What a horrible birthday present, to know that your girlfriend is leaving in 2 months.

Anyways, the invitation is going to my permanent address at my parents house and Im still in Philly. But I'll be going home this weekend, but can I wait to open the letter myself? I tell my mom not to open it, and that I want to open it myself to find out exactly where Ill be going.  Friday comes, and the letter comes.  I cant wait. I tell my mom to open it and call me immediately with the news.  Im going to Lesotho November 2nd. Im ecstatic. I can barely concentrate on moving out and finishing my thesis because I am so excited and just want to learn as much about Lesotho as I can.
By the end of the following week I have to confirm my acceptance as well as send an Aspiration Statement and another updated resume.  I need to apply for my Special Govt Passport as soon as possible as well. Im officially going to Lesotho now! OMG!!!! and in a week I will officially have a Masters in Materials Science and Engineering, my thesis defense will be over! and did I mention, Im going to Africa to be a Peace Corps Volunteer!!!!!!

September 2010-I successfully finish my thesis (all 204 pages of it) and defend (I passed), giving my best public speaking appearance to date.  I couldnt be happier.  Except for one thing.  Not a small thing either.  On the front page of CNN and the PC website an article concerning a PCV in Lesotho-the country I am schedule to serve in for the next 27 months in about 2 months.  A Volunteer was shot and killed.  Such horrible news no matter what the circumstance.  But this is just awful. Why would something like this happen at all, let alone in the country I am supposed to serve in?  My family will not respond well to this, they are already nervous about my imminent departure to a third world country in Africa. I expect to hear something from PC within the next few days about it, but nothing.  So I continue to prepare myself for service.  
I enjoy the last few weeks in Philly and plan a trip to Florida to visit my Grandparents and Lauren, and then to LA, Cali to visit Lesli!  

Ocotober 2010-By now all of the staging info has come.  I will be flying out of Philly on Nov 1st. How ironic.  I just left philly, my home, and now I am going back one last time before I leave the country for 27 months.  I plan for Chris to pick me up from the airport to see each other one last time. 
By the time I return from my Farewell Travels I only have two and a half weeks before I am scheduled to leave (Monday Nov 1st at 7am), and the time is precious and booked solid with stuff to do and people to see.  I will be having a farewell party October 16th and the following weekend is my best friend Stacey's Engagement party.  The last weekend I will be in the States my mom plans to have the family holidays all in one day.  Thanksgiving has always been our favorite holiday.  My brothers will be traveling home from Washington DC to celebrate thanksgiving, Christmas and my birthday all in two days (and I guess halloween too, since its the last day I'll be here).  Then its off to Philly for a day to meet all the other PCVs and get the last of the shots and fill out and hand in the last of the paperwork.  Then on tuesday Nov 2nd at 2 am we will leave to go to JFK where its off to Africa! 

But before all that, I get a phone call.  A phone call that will change my life forever.

October 12th: I am enjoying my last day in LA with Lesli.  We are at an Art Museum and the weather is absolutely gorgeous.  We had just about gotten there when my phone rang.  It was my mom.  I answer.  She tells me that PC called and they need to talk to me immediately.  I try to get all the facts, but she doesnt really have a clue.  The PC rep didnt give any info other than that she needed to speak with me as soon as possible.  My mom gives me the number of the Rep and I call her. She answers and asks if I have a minute to talk.  Then she tells me: You will no longer be able to go to Lesotho. I immediately break into tears but try to hold them back so I can get some answers. At first I think it is due to my allergy and think to myself, now, you wait until now to tell me I can go? I ask why and she explains the situation.  There was some violence involving a PCV and PC has deemed the country not safe enough to send new volunteers.  The program has been canceled indefinitely, but they are working to re-place me as quickly as possible, my understanding and flexibility is appreciated.  She asks if Id like to be transferred to the placement office. Im switched over, but get no answer.  I hang up and cry hysterically for about 15 minutes.  Im outside, but being that I am at an Art museum there is a statue behind me and people are trying to take pictures.  They got a bonus, me in the background hysterical. A guard tries to pry and ask whats wrong, but at this point I am on the phone with my mom, so I shoo her away. 
I cannot begin to describe how I felt.  I was absolutely heartbroken.  Mentally I was already in Lesotho.  I was completely devastated.  I never cried so hard in my life.  I felt like part of me died.  This may sound a bit extreme, but oh well.  When you give everything for one goal and then two weeks before its taken away from you, then maybe you will understand. 

I return home, and decide to still have the Farewell Party.  This is just another bump along the way, and I will still be leaving, just not for another couple months and to a completely different country. No Big Deal.  The party was fun, but after only 3 days I am still devastated and not in a good mindset.  Family Holidays were temporarily postponed, until when I actually leave.  Instead I go to Philly to visit Chris.  

While in Philly, I have the opportunity to represent Drexel EWB at the PaAWWA Conference and I also get to Substitute teach at Our Mother of Sorrows as well as speak to the 6th grade class about my service.  I will be corresponding with the 6th graders to teach them about another country/culture and to teach the community I serve about me and where I come from.  The students have many questions and overall they seem excited about the connection.

So on friday October 15th I had the first correspondence with my new PC PO.  She explained to me that they were working as hard and fast as they could to place me in a new country.  However, as I explained before I had the extra bonus of having to be medically approved before I could be invited.  Unlike the first round, they would submit a request to Medical to all the countries that I was skill-wise qualified for. These countries included Belize, Guyana, Ukraine and Eastern Caribbean.  And I would no longer be doing Math Education, but instead could be doing Youth Development or Community Health. 

Also unlike the first round, I had the choice of which country I would ultimately end up going to.  She told me that the request was being expedited but it could take a few days.  So I had no answer to give any one at the Party.  The following week I call.  Get no answer, but leave a message.  My call was returned but there is no answer for me yet.  However, she tells me that I have been approved and cleared for EC (Eastern Caribbean-Antigua and Barbuda, Dominica, Grenada and Carriacou, St. Lucia,  St. Vincent and the Grenadines, St. Kitts and Nevis). Although this was news to me.  Originally, I was only informed of Belize, Guyana and Ukraine.  This was definitely good news.  But I still wanted to wait to hear back from the other countries before I made my decision. 

Another week passes and I can only get through to a voice mail-still no answer. Finally, friday October 22nd, I am told still no answer about medical clearance and she will be out the entire following week.  Sometimes it can take a while, my files need to be encrypted to the country and the country must make a decision and it can take a while with lack of telecommunication and a number of other factors.  By Nov 1st, she reassures me I will have an answer, but If it were up to her she would just accept the EC program.  She informs me that it is my best option, and I am most qualified for this program, not to mention it leaves the soonest (end of January). I tell her I will call her back by the end of the day with my decision.  An hour goes by, and I decide that I need to wait. I call back and ask if I do not accept the EC program now, will I lose my spot.  I am assured that my spot is reserved, so I tell her that I need to wait until I hear back from the other countries.

November 2010-Ironically enough I was riding on a train from Philly back to Troy, NY.  Never thought I'd be back in Philly so soon, but I did miss it already and it was great to be back so soon.  
So when I had taken that train ride along the Hudson River about a month and a half ago, thinking to myself this will be the last time I do this, here I am doing it again on the exact day I was supposed to be heading to Lesotho. Nov 1st goes by and I hear nothing from PC.  Tuesday I decide to call, but again no answer.  Wednesday goes by and I just dismiss hearing anything anytime soon. By now, I have given up most hope of having an answer let alone my dreams of being a volunteer.  

Thursday I am awoken by the annoying ring of my phone.  Its a 202 number.  I instantly know that this is the PC, but I am apprehensive as to what they will say.  She informs me that I have been medically approved for Ukraine, but the other countries still have yet to respond. She goes into detail that I should just accept one of these and that the programs are mostly the same so nothing will change drastically, other then the location.  I tell her that I am just unable to make a decision because I honestly havent thought about it;  I am still stuck on/heartbroken about Lesotho.  Eventually she convinces me to choose between EC and Ukraine, rather than waiting for Belize and Guyana.  I tell her I still need to think about it though before I can make a decision.  After a lengthy discussion about her service in China and how at first she was miserable with her assignment, but eventually loved it, it was the best experience of her life, she offers to make the decision for me.  I have to say, there isnt any one else that PC could have had call me during this whole ordeal.  The PO was great, very understanding, etc.  She thanked me numerous times for being so open-minded and flexible under the current circumstance.  She said that my attitude is hard to come by and is the best attribute a Volunteer can have. With this attitude I will be very successful. This is reassuring, but I still have no idea what to do/where I am going/when I am leaving. This process is even more nerve wracking than being told I am going to X country.  She understands, and knows, now that she works for PC, and consoles my feelings/apprehension. We discuss the roller coaster that is the PC process; the ups the downs and the in between.  

So, in conclusion of this phone call, I am convinced to end my waiting and that my invite is in the mail and will be here most likely on monday November 8th. She appreciates that I am so open and willing to go anywhere and it can be assured that I will go where I am most needed/most able to help.  PC knows where they want me, but because of the circumstances they are willing to give me the option to choose.  She does not want to back me into a corner with my choice, but convinces me that I will be placed in a stable country.  She will make the decision (as it should be).  Come monday it will all be over-I will know where I am going.  And I can start the process of getting pumped up to do my service all over again.

In the meantime, I had to find something to do to get me out of the house and occupy my time and distract me from the misfortunate in Lesotho.  I am now working at Target for the holiday season. We will see how that goes...