Violate Your Expectations

In high school I had a teacher whose class I did not attend much.  However, when I did occasionally show up (often late, as it was first period of senior year), I could frequently hear her saying her famous motto.  Violate your expectations.  She taught English.  Oh the irony!

Although she did not touch my life in a profound way in terms of English, a love for Shakespeare, or whatever else it is that she taught us, I did come away with a very significant life lesson.  Constantly challenge yourself, your beliefs, your expectations.

I guess there are two points to this post, now that I think of it. 

The first (and unintended) point is that even if you aren’t changing lives the way you had hoped to, change is happening.  It may not be sudden and is probably very subtle. She may not have cultivated me into a literary genius (HA!), but she did give me a new perspective on life (which, in my opinion, may actually be more significant.)

I can hardly begin to count the times where I have uttered that same motto. Yet, I have never quoted Shakespeare.  She probably didn’t think that her motto was what was going to make a lasting impression in my mind. But, I guess if you hear things enough you learn by osmosis.  This is my new outlook for working with students in SVG.  I’ve realized I’m probably not going to change these students’ lives by teaching them to read (teaching someone to read is a lot more difficult than I thought. It also requires more than just simply knowing how to read yourself), or helping them to improve their reading/writing/comprehension skills through one hour a week sessions for approximately two years.  Some of these students need much more than that. But hopefully by repeatedly telling these students that they have potential and that they can do it, they will believe in themselves.  Maybe if I continually tell them that they are valued, appreciated, and their opinion matters, they will be confident and assertive.  Perhaps if I show them that I care and love them then they will show that same compassion and respect to others.  

The second point, and the one that I had originally deduced from revisiting that motto is that, every day I am constantly violating my expectations.  My entire idea of what the “Peace Corps experience” would be like has been shattered.  It was shattered before I even left the States, in fact. Everyday I am being challenged in what I believe in, what I expect of myself, what I expect of others.  And everyday I am violating those expectations.  Some are for the positive, and benefit everyone; and others are terribly troubling to me.  Either way, it is important to constantly be asking questions, challenging yourself in any and every way possible.

I will continue to try (I only say “try” because it is as difficult for me to teach reading as it is for them to learn it probably) to teach these wonderfully bright students how to read. All the while, chirping in their ears about goals, ambitions, potential, compassion, respect, the significance of preserving/conserving our environment!, and other important life lessons.

Forgive Me Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I know that I am always talking about sustainability, the preservation and conservation (do they mean the same thing?) of your precious resources, your beautiful landscapes, the rich diversity that this planet offers and of the harmful effects of pollution, etc.  I have a confession.  Please forgive me.  It is not sustainable nor responsible of me to take two showers a day, everyday.  But sometimes it is just necessary, honestly.  But what really makes me concerned, is not so much the water consumption, albeit exorbitant (a subjective word and probably really not that much water in comparison to other people.  I bet my two showers a day don’t add up to the amount of water you use for your one HOT shower a day). Anyways.  What really concerns me is that the drain to my shower just deposits right into my backyard.  So all my chemical-laden shampoo, conditioner and body wash just goes right into the backyard, into the ground, and subsequently my vegetable garden, and ultimately the water supply.  This is true for nearly every house in SVG.  What kind of effects is this having on the environment?  Could this be the reason for increasing prevalence of cancer and other diseases that are so prevalent nowadays? This really “vexes” me.  I think its time I invest in some biodegradable, eco friendly beauty products.  (I’ll also be taking donationsJ ).

So, please Mother Nature, forgive me for treating you so badly, so recklessly, and for being a hypocrite.

                                                      With the Utmost Respect,

Valarie Pelletier

PS: Its hard to believe that my backyard actually looks like this, despite all the chemicals I am polluting it with, not to mention god knows what else thats accumulating as a result of the runoff that gets deposited in my yard from neighbors up the hill from me.

This picture is literally taken from my bedroom window.

Words of Wisdom and Inspiration

CRD sent this very encouraging, inspiring, and thought provoking poem to me recently, as I was going through a bit of a rough patch.  I thought it was worth sharing.

“Desiderata” 

by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Spoiled in the States

Since I will be flying home in only a few short days, I have been thinking a lot about the small, trivial luxuries that we, as Americans, take for granted and the things that I miss (most) on occasion.

Although, now that I have been living here in SVG for close to 9 months, and I am getting more and more accustomed to my new life here and the way things are done, there are some things that I just miss from home.  These things are by no means necessities, but they do make life a bit easier and sometimes a bit more enjoyable.

In no particular order, I have compiled a list of the luxuries I am most looking forward to on my trip back home.

• 1.     Soft towels-because fabric softener is a joke and line drying makes my clothes as brittle as a 95-year-old woman’s bones.  Basically, it’s just a matter of time before they shatter when I go to wrap up in it after my cold shower.
• 2.     Dryer-because if it rains my laundry will not dry and all that washing I did was for naught. Also see #1.
• 3.     Laundry that smells fresh and clean-because no matter how much laundry soap I use, my clothes just don’t smell clean.  Not to mention, I don’t really like the smell of country (chickens, goats, exhaust, etc.) on my clothes.
• 4.     Dish washer-because I start and end my day doing dishes.  Since I don’t have a microwave I need to use pots and pans to reheat leftovers, which means more dishes.  And since nothing comes pre made or pre packaged, everything is made from scratch, which means TONS of dishes.
• 5.     Hot water-because washing with cold water just does not seem sanitary. I don’t necessarily mean for hot showers, more for washing clothes and dishes.  I just don’t feel like anything is clean when washing with cold water. Besides it’s too hot to take a hot shower.
• 6.     Take out food-because sometimes I just hate having to cook for an hour just to eat a simple meal.  I just want to eat now! And I would like a little variety every now and again.
• 7.     Going out after dark-because it gets dark at 6pm and I’m basically a prisoner in my own house after 630pm.  You just don’t want to be out after dark. And I’d like to do something from 6-9pm (my new bedtime) other than sit and read or count the number of bugs I see in my house.
• 8.     A real mattress-because after sleeping on a 2-inch thick foam mattress I wake up feeling like I just slept on my concrete floor.
• 9.     Carpet-because I just want to feel something soft and cushiony beneath my feet.  Concrete floors are so unforgiving, and always having to wear shoes is no fun.
• 10. Real milk-soymilk that is.  Because powdered soymilk is just not the same.
• 11. Real butter-because I love butter.  And because the vegetable oil spread tastes so weird.
• 12. The sound of sirens-because I don’t think I will ever get used to falling asleep to crickets and frogs and waking up to roosters.  It is eerily quiet and loud all at the same time and I think it might be slowly driving me crazy.  I really do miss the loud sirens, helicopters and distant sound of traffic.

Two Items You Never Want To Be Without

A Book and an Umbrella.

1. The rain comes out of nowhere! Seriously you thought checking the weather back in the States was pointless, well here storms form out of thin air.  Its not just a spring shower either.  I’m talking torrential downpour, complete with thunder so loud you are wondering if there is a Boeing 747 about to land in your living room, classroom/office, bedroom (depending on the time of day). What, you just looked out the window no less than 5 minutes ago and saw nothing but blue skies, and now you think the apocalypse is coming.  This is pretty typical.   I think there is a storm nearly everyday almost at the same time (4^th period or thereabouts) everyday. However, what usually happens (especially when I have to go to town, and I am in a rush to get a van) is I will forget my raincoat (I don’t even own an umbrella because they are annoying and the wind always flips them up or I just end up losing the; leaving them wherever I was) and it will pour.  But it never fails that when I actually remember it, it doesn’t rain a drop and when I forget it at home I’m wishing I packed a life jacket and raft instead.  The rain here is both utterly terrifying and incredibly fascinating. 
2. The books come in handy on many occasions.  Number one, say you have a meeting at 4pm, it inevitably will not start until 5pm, if you’re lucky.  A book is a great way to spend that hour learning or at least entertained rather than staring at the wall (or rain) waiting rather impatiently for the meeting to begin.  Remember that rain I was mentioning, well that’s another great example of the importance of being prepared with the proper equipment: this time a book.  A book is a necessity because you never know where you are going to get stuck waiting for the rain to abate, or for how long.  Sometimes it could be a fleeting rain deluge and it passes as fast as it arrived, but other times it looks like there’s no end in sight.  You don’t dare venture out into that storm of epic proportions-your umbrella or raincoat isn’t going to do anything for you when the rain drops are the size of grapes and the wind is blowing them horizontally.  Luckily, however, at least its not cold, if you do happen to get stuck in a tempest of rain.

Read More, Learn More, Change the Globe

It may come as a shock to you, but I love the rapper Nas. I think I have loved him ever since I was introduced to him in 9^th grade by a fellow classmate who lent me her Nas Stillmatic CD for a road trip to New Orleans I was going on. Anyways I digress.  The point is he has a song titled “I Can”; and this is my motto for the students this new school year. 

The underlying message he sends is such a positive and encouraging tale of getting away from the streets, drugs, and violence through hard work, education and hope and belief in oneself. 

However, there is one particular line that strikes a chord in me, and always has.  It reads: Read more, learn more, change the globe.  So this is my hope for this new school year:  To help the students develop a love for reading and to help them to learn to read at a sufficient level to be productive citizens of their communities, societies and country; to learn as much as I possibly can while I am here, teaching, a PCV, and in general; and obviously for the students to learn something new everyday and every time they come to see me in the Reading Room; and together to change the globe one child at a time, one book at a time, one math problem at a time; to overcome adversity and challenges and to move forward together.

I know I can

Be what I wanna be

If I work hard at it

I’ll be where I wanna be.

You Know You're A Peace Corps Volunteer When...

• ·      You become a hoarder: Saving paper towel and toilet paper tubes; boxes; bags; bottles; etc because you never know what you will need it for.
• ·      You think you can reuse everything.
• ·      You carry your own toilet paper with you to school.
• ·      You see more goats and chickens than people sometimes.
• ·      You only buy as much as you can carry.
• ·      You stare when you see a white person you don’t know.
• ·      Walking somewhere always takes double as long as it should, because you stop to talk to everyone that’s outside on the way.
• ·      You’re always the worst dressed at formal events.
• ·      Eggs are not refrigerated, and that’s becoming normal.
• ·      And you carry your eggs in a plastic bag instead of an egg carton.
• ·      You’re not really upset when a 30 minute bus ride takes 1 hour.
• ·      You’re not angry when the bus stops for gas or runs personal errands.
• ·      You buy clothes based on how difficult it will be to wash/dry.
• ·      You talk about bowel movements everytime you are with other PCVs.
• ·      Your new friends are the bugs, lizards, and bats living with you in your house.
• ·      You are cognizant about being the worst dressed person in your village, yet you don’t care.
• ·      You start talking to yourself and the green lizards in your house.
• ·      People know you and can tell you where you live, etc, but you have no idea who they are.
• ·      You spend your Saturday nights alone, and Friday nights too.
• ·      Most of your friends are under the age of 12.
• ·      Bug spray/deet is your new perfume.
• ·      Laundry is an all day affair.
• ·      Staying up past 9pm is considered a late night. Sleeping past 7am is considered sleeping in.
• ·      You fall asleep on the bus ride from town while stuck in an overcrowded bus.
• ·      You Double double up on words.
• ·      You can only charge one electronic at a time because you are either limited by the number of outlets, or the number of plug adapters or both.
• ·      You secretly enjoy the local [soca] music.
• ·      You have no shame, you can never act more crazy than they already think you are.
• ·      Bugs are the size of small rodents.
• ·      You lost track of how many marriage proposals you’ve received.
• ·      You’ve read more books in the last 3 months than you have in all of high school.
• ·      You’ve come to expect the unexpected.
• ·      Hot water from the faucet seems weird.
• ·      You only have one functioning utility at a time-either no water, no electricity, or no gas tank.
• ·      You start and end your day cleaning and washing dishes.
• ·      You match your sweat rag to your outfit.
• ·      You just eat the tiny ants now...it has now become a much needed protein source.
• ·     You shake out and check your shoes for bugs before putting them on.

Follow the link to see where I got this inspiration:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4swOWhsaQg

Please check back later as this list will surely grow :-)